Nurses: Before We Ask for the Table…

We keep asking for a seat at the table. Co-leadership. Influence. Recognition. But if we’re honest — truly honest — have we really taken time to reflect on how we’ve been showing up within our own profession?

It’s an uncomfortable question, but it’s one we can’t avoid any longer.

We want to lead alongside others, to have our voices heard, to shape policies and practice. And yet, within our own walls, there’s a leadership crisis happening — one that’s been brewing for far too long.

And it’s not just about roles, titles, or scope of practice. It’s about how we treat each other. It’s about the culture we’ve allowed to take root. The stories we’ve repeated. The habits we’ve normalized.

The Hidden Leadership Crisis in Nursing

Ask any nurse who's been in the profession long enough, and they’ll tell you — some of the deepest wounds haven’t come from patients or policies, but from fellow nurses.

In fact, a 2020 study published in the Journal of Nursing Administration found that nearly 50% of nurses report experiencing bullying or incivility from colleagues, contributing to significant job dissatisfaction, burnout, and high turnover rates. A culture of “eating our young,” which has plagued nursing for decades, continues to undermine our collective success and effectiveness.

From the side comments. The subtle undermining. The culture of comparison, competition, and emotional isolation. These daily occurrences erode trust, foster resentment, and ultimately diminish the very essence of what nursing is about — caring, healing, and supporting one another in a shared mission.

We can’t rise while tearing each other down. We won’t lead while secretly battling one another. We won’t heal if we keep mirroring the very dysfunction we’re trying to change.

Why Does This Matter?

So, why does it matter that nurses are turning on one another? Because we are the very backbone of healthcare. The quality of care patients receive is directly linked to the well-being of the caregivers providing that care. A 2019 American Journal of Nursing study found that work environments that promote nurse collaboration and trust directly impact patient outcomes. When we’re torn apart by competition, gossip, or undercutting, we undermine our own ability to provide the kind of compassionate, unified care our patients need.

Consider this: One-third of nurses are considering leaving the profession, with many citing toxic work environments as a primary reason. In the face of a growing nursing shortage, this is not just a personal crisis — it’s a systemic one. When we fail to support each other, we diminish the strength and resilience of the profession as a whole.

The question isn’t whether we should ask for a seat at the table, but whether we’ve shown up as leaders in a way that others can trust and follow. Leadership isn’t just about making decisions or holding power; it’s about how we treat one another, how we lift each other up, and how we take responsibility for the culture we cultivate.

A Different Way Forward

You don’t often see physicians doing this to each other — at least not in the same systemic, intergenerational way. Doctors may disagree, but they don’t often participate in the level of passive-aggressive behaviors, sabotage, or undermining that have become normalized in nursing. Why have we allowed this behavior to become part of our identity?

This is our reckoning moment.

Before we ask for co-leadership, we need to reclaim our self-leadership. Before we fight for influence, we need to model integrity. And before we demand a better future, we need to create it from the inside out.

Nursing isn’t just a job. It’s a sacred science. A relational art. A blueprint for human restoration. We are the design team for healing. That means the restoration starts with us.

We’ve spent years, perhaps decades, asking for recognition and respect from others, and yet we’ve overlooked how we’re treating one another. We’ve been waiting for the system to change, but true change can only come when we shift the way we operate within our own profession.

Choosing a Better Way

Let’s choose to be the kind of leaders we wish we had. Let’s choose courage over comparison. Accountability over blame. Humility over hierarchy.

Not so we can prove our worth. But because we already know it.

What if, instead of battling for a seat at the table, we built the table together? What if we created a culture where collaboration, empathy, and integrity were the norm? Imagine the kind of leadership we could offer to the world, to our patients, and to each other if we chose to walk in alignment with our highest values, not in the silent battles for recognition.

There’s no shortage of need for strong leadership in healthcare. But leadership isn’t a title. It’s a choice. A choice to step up, to act with integrity, and to treat others with the same care and respect we give our patients.

The Future We Create

The world is watching. But more importantly — we are watching.

And the next generation of nurses? They’re learning how to lead by watching us.

Every action we take, every word we speak, every choice we make — we’re teaching those who will follow in our footsteps. If we continue to perpetuate the patterns of toxic competition, comparison, and undermining, we’re teaching them that this is acceptable. But if we model the leadership we so desperately need — one rooted in integrity, humility, and collaboration — we’re creating a future where nurses truly lead the way.

Let’s show them a better way.

Because if we truly want to lead — if we truly want to create a future of healing — it starts with us. It starts with how we treat each other, how we lead ourselves, and how we build a profession where collaboration trumps competition, healing trumps harm, and integrity trumps all.

This is exactly why I created a mentorship program The Mentorship Shift— a transformational space for nurses at all levels. Whether you're on the frontline, in leadership, or growing a business in the healthcare space, this mentorship is designed to help you embody the very transformation we’ve been talking about.

Together, we go deep into self-leadership, emotional mastery, relational intelligence, and values-based influence. I teach the habits, tools, and mindset shifts that allow you to lead powerfully — not from ego, but from wholeness.

And here’s the truth: when you start showing up from this place, your career, your business, your impact — they all grow in ways you never imagined possible.

The healing starts with us. The future begins with what we choose to model — right now.